It is because of the supreme sacrifice of the Mosquito Militia that Nepal has never been colonized by aliens. But since the eradication of malaria in the Tarai, we no longer have a forward line of defense and must find a new strategic depth.
Fortunately, the Nepalese army’s clandestine biological warfare drone division recently deployed genetically modified Aedes aegypti to inject dengue fever on all fifth column suspects in the society.
They increase Vibrio cholerae and bio-engineered Giardia lamblia which have managed to burst the gastrointestinal tubes of Nepal’s sworn enemies.
The two bacteria have already foiled a tourist invasion of Nepal. Secretly seeping into the endoplastic reticulum, the germs wreak havoc in the digestive tracts of would-be conquerors and make them think twice before re-entering Nepal’s toilet-less buffer zone.
Advances in genetic engineering mean that these microorganisms can be cloned to protect Nepal’s indigenous population from weapons of mass destruction.
Last week, the Minister of Tourism, Civil Aviation and Vermiculture bravely defended the honor of Nepal against a security guard while being fingerprinted for a Canadian visa. His message was clear and clear: a Nepalese will no longer bear such insults lying down, we will bear him standing with outstretched hands. Our national slogan will henceforth be “Canada, come home!” And take us with you on Junkets! »
The visa fight exposed another insult to Nepal’s sovereignty: Nepalese passports must travel to Delhi to be stamped. As the oldest self-respecting nation-state in South Asia that has never been colonized, we should fight back.
The Ministry of Irritation would cancel visas on arrival and require Canadians to obtain their Nepali visas from Honduras. Australians will need to apply in Tonga and Italians will need to go to the Nepalese Embassy in Addis. What is that? Nepal does not have an embassy in Addis? Good point. Serves Italians well. And the French who wish to go to Nepal must apply in São Tomé and Príncipe.
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